Redefining You: Self-Exploration as a Path to True Fulfillment

Who do you think you are?!...No, really! Who are you? Have you ever really asked yourself that question, and then actually sat down and pondered the answer? Many women haven’t asked themselves the question, never-mind tried to formulate a response. Even more of them wouldn’t be able to give a true answer. Sure, they might be able to run down the usual list of mother, wife, daughter, stay at home mom, career woman, but that only characterizes the basic day-to-day roles that we play.

Those roles do not define us; instead we craft their definitions of us. For each of us, when expressing who we are as individuals, we mold what that means to us. And when we are acting in terms of the general role, instead of being true to ourselves, we are only paying homage to societal standards. Think about it -- when you use those terms you are describing your job or your responsibilities. You may be painting a picture of what your everyday life is like, but you are not giving insight into your inner thoughts or the fundamentals of who you are. Or, on the other hand, maybe those roles have become who you are.

Historically, women have consistently put the needs of others before themselves. Whether we are focusing on our spouses, our children, or on gaining independence by establishing our careers, we oftentimes forget about, or push our personal needs to the wayside. Many women will say that developing a successful career is a way for them to feel fulfilled, but there is much more to happiness than professional status.

Recently more women have begun to set aside time for fitness routines, spa days, and going out with their girlfriends. One important component that is being forgotten is taking time for introspection and discovering "the real you". Throughout our lives, we are constantly told what others think we should or should not be, and how we should or should not behave, so we fall into a routine of living up to other people's expectations of ourselves, without even really thinking about what we want. This occurs from childhood onward, so that when we reach adulthood these behaviors and ways of thinking are so ingrained in our psyches that most people don't even realize what is going on.

Women end up living lives that don't parallel the dreams embedded deep within. Many of us have a perpetual feeling that something is missing from our lives, and keep searching for that fulfillment through the happiness of our children, spouses, and sometimes clients and co-workers. There is nothing wrong with wanting to satisfy the needs of those around us, but what happens when those others disappear and we are alone with our thoughts. A feeling of emptiness lingers in the soul. Oftentimes women try to fill that space with television shows, shopping sprees, hair and nail appointments - trying to mask the unhappiness with the look a stylish sophisticate on the outside. But in the end, who are you really fooling. Others may fall for the facade, but deep inside you know what lurks within...or what is missing altogether. This is not the life any of us were meant to live. However many women continue to live vicariously through other people and things, and don't have a moment of revelation until later in life, sometimes not until they reach mid-life. And although they say it's never too late, wouldn't you rather get to know yourself now so that you can live your life the way you really envision. Instead of living with a stranger, be your own best friend. To know thyself is to love thyself.

So to all the women out there, take some time for yourself, sit down and ponder who you really are and what you want out of life. It's okay if you are not sure; that's what self-exploration is all about. Read some books on self-empowerment and self-development. Think about dreams deferred and how you can bring them into fruition. Figure out which road leads to your personal happiness and follow it until you find the inner peace that you've always yearned for. It is possible, if you nourish your spirit, follow your heart, and listen to your intuition. Make yourself a priority, and fulfillment in all aspects of your life will soon follow.

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