I do not pretend to be a good writer. I never imagined myself sharing my most personal fears and frustrations on the internet, but in this instance, I could not remain silent.
I watched both the Rihanna and Chris Brown interviews. The real gravity of this situation seemingly would have been lost if these responses were not made public, timed, coincidentally of course, before the release their new albums.
Watching the interview, I thought back to my own experience with abuse. Although the majority of his offenses against me where verbal in nature, there was one physical incident that eventually led to my relocation to
As I watched Rihanna speak, I could hear her pain. When she mentioned the emptiness in his eyes as he was beating her, I felt a shiver down my spine as I remembered the same cold, black and soulless look that my abuser took on whenever he was in one of his rages. His eyes still haunt me today.
In watching Chris Brown’s response, I saw no remorse whatsoever. I sincerely believe that everyone makes mistakes. God knows I have made my fair share. But I can’t help to think that he was more concerned with people not liking him and the loss of his endorsements etc, than he was with the severity of his offense.
As I listened to each word, the anger in my own heart began to swell and I realized that I have not completely healed from that situation. Despite the progress that I have made since, the resentment stays with me. My heart has hardened in some ways. My youth was taken from me. With it, went my innocence and my trust in others. I continue to look for the good in people, but find myself waiting for the day that they will ultimately disappoint me.
I was speaking with one of my best friends over the weekend. I came to the conclusion that I could name at least seven CLOSE friends who have recently suffered mental and/or physical abuse. Of these, all are successful, educated, and beautiful women; none of which, from the outside, fit our typical model of a “battered woman”. In speaking with each, I recognize the embarrassment, anger, and fear that each carries.
I can not offer any solutions. I do not pretend to have the answer. What I will say is that healing is eminent.
To each of us, I speak healing, peace and forgiveness.
To all of the beautiful women that I love….Be Strong. Be Encouraged. Be You.
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