When two spirits intertwine, something higher, something greater than love occurs
I appreciate all dialog on love, sex and relationships especially questions. And don't expect everyone to understand or agree with me.
Back in October, I wrote a piece on pro-sex feminism and received a few questions about what type of contraception I use and whether or not sex without love is like rape so here's my response below.
The type of contraception depends on who I am with at that time, but again as I pointed out in the post . . . pro-sex doesn't mean promiscuous
It seems you assumed I have more than one partner at a time or that have had a great deal of partners over time, please don't put me in that box
I've been celibate for almost a year now but still consider myself pro-sex
I have learned that it is extremely difficult for people to have sex without love and fear, which usually leads to control or power struggles
If I met the right person who could handle being with me without trying to control me then I wouldn't be celibate, but due to the fact that most people equate love with control and conditions I remain pro-sex but sex free
Pro-sex doesn't mean violence or teasing for tricks either. It simply means that it's up to me to choose who I have sex with and to be upfront about whether or not I want more than sex from that person
I disagree that sex without love is a form of rape because love sometimes means "controlling" or "struggling for power" just as rape is about power. Many people have twisted ideas of "love"
Love is not necessarily derogatory, however, I want something greater than love. Being together or being "in love" shouldn't require that I am with you everyday or living with you or marrying you or keeping tabs on you and vice versa
I believe there is a higher level of being connected to another person that doesn't require traditional models of relationships and "love"
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