Sorry No More

I find myself saying "I'm sorry" way too much. I think most of us women are conditioned to. I mean I say it for stupid things like if I accidentally brush someone in the hallway; or if I'm reaching over someone for a spoon in the communal kitchen at work and someone is reaching for a fork. Really petty things where the appropriate response is "excuse me." I am a firm believer of being conscious of the words that we put in the Universe. If we say we are sorry, then we are creating that energy. So no more "I'm sorry"...just excuse yourself and keep it moving. Unless you really did something really heinous; all you need to do is apologize.

July 1, 2008
The Feeling Underneath
Compulsive Apologies

Many people suffer with the tendency to apologize all the time, chronically, for everything. On the one hand, apologizing is a social convention that keeps interactions between people polite, and in that way it can be very helpful. On the other hand, if we find ourselves apologizing for everything, it might be time to look at why we feel compelled to say "I’m sorry" so often. Ultimately, saying you’re sorry is saying that you are responsible for something that has gone wrong in the situation. Whether it’s negotiating a parking spot, moving through the aisles of the supermarket, or reaching for what you want, there are times when sorry is the right thing to say. But there are other times when "excuse me" is more accurate.

Sometimes saying you’re sorry is like saying that the other person in the equation has more of a right to be here than you do. Of course, it’s true that using the word sorry can simply be an innocuous way of defusing tension. However, if you find that you say sorry all the time, you might want to look a little deeper and see where in your psyche that might be coming from. If it’s a pattern, breaking it may simply take some awareness and practice.

The first step is observing yourself each time you say it, without being hard on yourself about it. Throughout your day simply notice when you apologize. At first, you might be surprised to see that you do it even more than you first realized. After a day or two of simply observing, try to tune in to what it is you are feeling right before you say it. You might be feeling threatened, embarrassed, intensely anxious, or a variety of other feelings. Over time, try to stop yourself before the words come out and just be with the feeling that’s there. You may recognize it as one from your childhood, one that’s been with you for a long time. The more you are able to see it, the freer you will be not to be sorry all the time.

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Barack and Michelle: My Dream Couple

I love me some Barack and Michelle! First, let's just say that I'm still in awe that Senator Obama is the "presumptive" nominee. Congrats to history in the making! Hillary has not totally conceded, perhaps trying to create some pomp and circumstance around her stepping down. Hurry up...you're already old news, cut the drama! There's a lot I probably should say about this but in short I'm very excited for the Obamas. They will be the illest First Couple!

I watched them on stage tonight; and you can tell by how they look at each other that there is so much love shared between them. There is admiration and respect in both of their eyes and their body language. What a beautiful sight of black love :) And Michelle killed it in that purple dress...truly looking like royalty. My heart jumps at the thought of a women of color as the First Lady, can it be so?!

Michelle has gotten some flak in the media about being overbearing and belittling to Barack; in addition to her comments that she was finally proud of her country. I think she made fun of his ears or snoring or some insignificant shit (the short term memory is a bit hazy). Black women are always going to be stereotyped as overbearing and critical of their men...it's nothing new. We are supposed to be doting and sweet at all costs like "good" women do. She handles herself with class and grace always; and is Barack's biggest fan, advocate and ally. He knows AND appreciates that. He will admit that Michelle basically runs the show (see their Oprah appearance), and defended her when the GOP dummies were trying to bring her "unpatriotic" comments back into the media because they have nothing else to talk about. They reciprocate.

All I'm saying is that their love is beautiful and inspiring; and that's the kind of love I'm looking for, whether with a partner, friends, family, and self. They are role models for the world.

Anyway, I'm tired but couldn't not express my hypeness (lol) and my audacity of hope that change is a'coming.

The stars are lining up for Obama; he's starting his presidential run on today's new moon...it's a time when the Universe supports new beginnings. The Universe is talking so I hope you are listening! Now go make your wishes for things you want to change, think about what you want to start and ask the moon for its blessing and assistance. She is a quite generous lady :)

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For the Girls, Grown Women and Goddesses in transition

I was cleaning up files on my laptop tonight (its got lives like a cat) and found this. A friend of mine posted this on his blog a while back. I met him my freshman year of college, and he's always proved to be good dude and a gentleman. Thanks, Keith, for keeping it real. and thanks to the Universe for being a wise-ass.


Girls vs. Grown Women

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come home.
Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girl try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e. don't want him hanging with his friends).
Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special and goes to kick it with her own friends.

Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and tell the man so.
Grown women show him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his manhood.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that that was just one man.

Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all signs.
Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back and move on, without bitterness.

Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male friends.

Now everyone do what you gotta do!!!

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