Breast Cancer Awareness…#FAIL

Did you know about that amazing viral campaign that raised awareness about breast cancer? Of course you did. If you are a Facebook user, then you probably noticed a curious phenomenon last week. Rather mysteriously, women were updating their status with colors. There was beige, lots of black, red, some purple and pink, even stripes. Nothing else, just colors. The point of this was to raise awareness about breast cancer. Now let that sink in. The point of this exercise was to raise awareness about breast cancer by women sharing what color bra they were wearing that day. What? You didn’t know that was actually about something serious? Yeah, well, join the fucking club.

This was such an obvious educational campaign FAILURE, let me count the ways An educational campaign can’t lay claim to raising awareness if no one knows what the campaign was about or even that a campaign was underway. Most people I know thought this was a joke. And to a certain extent it was. The message that I got on Facebook was this, “Some fun is going on.... just write the color of your bra in your status. Just the color, nothing else. And send this on to ONLY girls no men... It will be neat to see if this will spread the wings of cancer awareness. See how long it takes before the men will wonder why all the girls have a color in their status.” The problem was, is and remains that most people were not in on the joke. Women were changing their status and friends were reading them without necessarily making the connection to breast cancer. The “campaign” (I use that term loosely here) didn’t provide enough context for people to make that leap from beige (or pink or purple) to breast cancer awareness.

I ‘m not criticizing the campaign for trying to be different, fun or flirty. Or that even guys got into the act. I wasn’t concerned about women objectifying themselves by sharing the color of their bra. My issue was with the lack of any genuine awareness-raising or educating about breast cancer. As a next step, the campaign could have asked women to post statistics about the prevalence of breast cancer or steps on how to conduct a self-breast examination. Organizers of the campaign, whoever they were, could have suggested that women follow-up with blog posts explaining risk factors for breast cancer or first–person narratives from breast cancer fighters and survivors. In fact, among all these status updates the words “breast cancer” didn’t appear. Not once. And so we lost a major opportunity to educate millions of people, especially young women, about a disease that will strike 1 in 8 women over the course of her lifetime, including my best friend’s mom who died from complications due to breast cancer in 2008.

Another major failure of the campaign was raised in this post, by WHYMOMMY. How many people stopped to think about the fact that many women could not participate because they longer wore a bra, because of breast cancer? In trying to raise awareness about breast cancer the campaign managed to isolate and silence the very people who are MOST impacted by this disease. The campaign cannot claim to stand in solidarity with breast cancer fighters and survivors, if the effect was to do so at their expense, further marginalizing them and adding to the tremendous stigma that still surrounds the disease.

I spend a lot of time thinking about cancer. Since my Mom was diagnosed fourteen months ago, not a day goes by that I don’t think about cancer, the 12 million people around the world that will be diagnosed with it this year or what I can do to fight it. But if we are going to really educate people about breast cancer, this bra campaign isn’t going to get us there. We need information, resources, and services. Otherwise, it’s just a joke that most of us aren’t in on.

read more

Redefining You: Self-Exploration as a Path to True Fulfillment

Who do you think you are?!...No, really! Who are you? Have you ever really asked yourself that question, and then actually sat down and pondered the answer? Many women haven’t asked themselves the question, never-mind tried to formulate a response. Even more of them wouldn’t be able to give a true answer. Sure, they might be able to run down the usual list of mother, wife, daughter, stay at home mom, career woman, but that only characterizes the basic day-to-day roles that we play.

Those roles do not define us; instead we craft their definitions of us. For each of us, when expressing who we are as individuals, we mold what that means to us. And when we are acting in terms of the general role, instead of being true to ourselves, we are only paying homage to societal standards. Think about it -- when you use those terms you are describing your job or your responsibilities. You may be painting a picture of what your everyday life is like, but you are not giving insight into your inner thoughts or the fundamentals of who you are. Or, on the other hand, maybe those roles have become who you are.

Historically, women have consistently put the needs of others before themselves. Whether we are focusing on our spouses, our children, or on gaining independence by establishing our careers, we oftentimes forget about, or push our personal needs to the wayside. Many women will say that developing a successful career is a way for them to feel fulfilled, but there is much more to happiness than professional status.

Recently more women have begun to set aside time for fitness routines, spa days, and going out with their girlfriends. One important component that is being forgotten is taking time for introspection and discovering "the real you". Throughout our lives, we are constantly told what others think we should or should not be, and how we should or should not behave, so we fall into a routine of living up to other people's expectations of ourselves, without even really thinking about what we want. This occurs from childhood onward, so that when we reach adulthood these behaviors and ways of thinking are so ingrained in our psyches that most people don't even realize what is going on.

Women end up living lives that don't parallel the dreams embedded deep within. Many of us have a perpetual feeling that something is missing from our lives, and keep searching for that fulfillment through the happiness of our children, spouses, and sometimes clients and co-workers. There is nothing wrong with wanting to satisfy the needs of those around us, but what happens when those others disappear and we are alone with our thoughts. A feeling of emptiness lingers in the soul. Oftentimes women try to fill that space with television shows, shopping sprees, hair and nail appointments - trying to mask the unhappiness with the look a stylish sophisticate on the outside. But in the end, who are you really fooling. Others may fall for the facade, but deep inside you know what lurks within...or what is missing altogether. This is not the life any of us were meant to live. However many women continue to live vicariously through other people and things, and don't have a moment of revelation until later in life, sometimes not until they reach mid-life. And although they say it's never too late, wouldn't you rather get to know yourself now so that you can live your life the way you really envision. Instead of living with a stranger, be your own best friend. To know thyself is to love thyself.

So to all the women out there, take some time for yourself, sit down and ponder who you really are and what you want out of life. It's okay if you are not sure; that's what self-exploration is all about. Read some books on self-empowerment and self-development. Think about dreams deferred and how you can bring them into fruition. Figure out which road leads to your personal happiness and follow it until you find the inner peace that you've always yearned for. It is possible, if you nourish your spirit, follow your heart, and listen to your intuition. Make yourself a priority, and fulfillment in all aspects of your life will soon follow.

read more