What does pro-sex mean anyway?

Pro-sex is a belief that sexuality is spiritual and human beings are naturally, sexual beings so women do not have to fit into the box prude vs. whore; there is definitely an in between. For example, Janet Jackson’s lyrics are just as provocative as Lil Kim’s but just more subtle. Janet is just as sexual as Lil Kim but in a different way. Thus, there are more ways to live a pro-sex life without being a “whore” or “slut”

It’s all about balance. One can be pro-sex yet practice abstinence/celibacy at certain point in one’s life in order to create/maintain sexual health and balance.

Pro-sex means looking at sex holistically; that sex is more than just a physical act and one must be sexually healthy and aware


Pro-sex does not mean sexually promiscuous, it actually means just the opposite that as sexual beings we are obligated to be sexually responsible.

Being pro-sex does not mean that you’re a nymphomaniac or currently sexually active. Being pro-sex is having the outlook that sex is just as important as nutrition and just as we teach people to have balanced eating habits, we must teach people to have balanced sex lives as well.

read more

Free Spirited, Pro-Sex Feminist?!

The picture to the right is one of the Hindu god Shiva and goddess Kali. Like the goddess Kali, fucking while feminist can be all about creation and destruction. It is said that the goddess Kali is "always wild as the embodiment of total freedom and liberation"

I don't fuck for love
I fuck for freedom
I fuck because I can
because fucking feels so fucking good
and well, I fuck well

One of my favorite songs this year has been "Pro Lover" by Usher. The hook in particular really resonates with me "Loving me baby that's a no, no! I'm better when I touch and go. I'm trying to add your name to my hall of fame not just a player I'm a pro-lover"

I am pro-love, pro-choice, and pro-sex. I believe that love and sex are both spiritual and sacred acts to experience and/or share with someone else. However, love and sex are not the same.

I don't fuck for love
I fuck for freedom
I fuck because I can
because fucking feels so fucking good
and well, I fuck well

Finding other people who can wrap their head around and handle that is the challenge. Because being a free spirited pro-sex feminist doesn't make me a whore or a madam, I still have standards and a code of ethics I follow. Honesty, trust and safety are first and foremost.

Fucking while feminist means you must be honest with yourself and the other person. Sometimes this means telling them that "you're not the relationship type and you just want to have fun because you don't fuck for love, you fuck for freedom" Sounds simple right? WRONG!

I am not a feminist who hates men; you don't have to hate men to be feminist. However, I do find myself discarding of men every season like last season's fashion fads. Mostly because they don't meet the criteria necessary to handle me.

Because I have experienced time and time again the complexities of dating and relationships while being feminist and free spirited, I have cut back and slowed down. It's hard enough for men to grasp and accept one, that I'm a free spirited busy body and then two, to throw free loving, pro-sex feminist on top of that, they either want to run from me or try to trap me and slow me down, like the Hindu god Shiva to goddess Kali.

So in the honest and frank discussion I have to have with any potential partner I must explain that . . .

"I don't need to love them to fuck, but I do need to trust them. I need to know that they understand and accept that I am not going to stop being a free spirited pro-sex feminist just because I am fucking them. And that, them fucking me will not change who I am. And if they can honestly and truly handle that then we're fine, but the moment they try to change or control me, the fun and fucking will be over"

read more