Who Run the World? GIRLS! Who Wrote The Song? MEN!

I've spent entirely too much of the last week talking, reading about and watching Beyonce. *shakes fist at the Interwebs* But the bevy of conversation and controversy that has surrounded the release of Beyonce's new video for her latest single, "Run the World (Girls)," has been nothing short of fascinating. Maybe I need new hobbies. As a consumer and critic of pop culture and feminism, I've found myself questioning and exploring how those things both beautifully harmonize and diametrically oppose each other. Then mix in ideas about sexual expression and black female sexuality and it becomes all the more conflicting. It reminds me (as Joan Morgan said on Facebook) that "feminism is complicated."

I first saw this video when I was watching "American Idol" last week (don't judge me) and Beyonce was a guest mentor. My first thoughts as they showed clips of her advising the contestants were: "Damn, why she look so pale! They keep trying to whiten her up more and more. The blond weave doesn't help either." Catty, maybe, but it was startling and that's a whole other topic. The video "premiered" during a break and I was thinking about the "American Idol" audience which is primarily teenyboppers and families and wondering what I would say if I was watching it with my 7 year-old goddaughter. How could we process this together? This words seemed (initially) fairly innocuous and scream of "girl power." Although the images were sexy, I thought it was tamer and even more justified than some of her previous videos. There was even legitimate African dance not just gyrating and grinding (though I'm a fan of all of the above) so I could explain that to a little girl. But what kind of discussion could we have what about what girl power looks like in the real world?

I liked the video a lot and I still do. The dancing is dynamic, the costumes are captivating, the set is stimulating and it's fantasy and it's fun...yes, fun! But enjoying much of our pop culture often requires a certain level of detachment. In this case, detaching from the obvious reality that we women/girls/ladies/females/chicks don't literally run the world. Women encounter a full range of experiences on a daily basis that remind us of our "place" in this world. Music, and videos, can provide an escape. For five minutes, I can pretend I'm in some alternate universe where women have political, economic and social power AND equality...and we exist as a dancing army of half-nekkid badasses in the desert. It's good for the imagination.

I also believe in the greater idea of speaking things into creation so I'd rather little girls be singing this than 98% of what's on commercial radio. If this song makes little girls feel confident and believe in their own internal power, specifically in contrast to all the confusing messages they are constantly receiving about gender dynamics, then I'm cool with it even if it is cheesy and not entirely factual. My friend Shani who is an awesome mama put it best: "It reminds me of my daughter and the sense of possibility unique to being 8."

I'm not going to regurgitate what so many lady bloggers have eloquently said before me. For example, Nineteen Percent has made huge waves with her vlog calling Beyonce a liar for telling girls that they run the world when femicide, paycheck inequality, wartime rape (I can go on) are major problems women face. I can't argue with her there. But as I said on Facebook, I'm just not expecting Beyonce to be on the forefront of any substantive discussion about women's rights, where we are and where we've come from.

I understand there is inherent danger in pop culture co-opting of feminism and "girl power" as Samhita over at Feministing clearly explains. The irony of all this conversation and debate, and what I think helps prove this point, is that the song was written primarily by MEN. Not one but a quintet: Terius "The-Dream" Nash, Nick "Afrojack" van de Wall, Wesley "Diplo" Pentz, David "Switch" Taylor, and Adidja Palmer (Vybz Kartel) all co-wrote this with Beyonce. These guys aren't exactly pro-woman intellectuals or activists so again why do we expect this to be an authentic anthem?

Many people ask "Why shouldn't we expect more?" Beyonce is an entertainer. Her JOB is to be a pop star i.e. sell lots of records and get lots of endorsements. Her songs are like the McDonald's fries of music. Horrible for you but deliciously addictive and readily available. They are both guilty pleasures relatively irresistible to the masses. (side note: I loathe McDonald's but you know about their fries.) She has been raised by parents determined to make her a star...and here she is. She is a cog in the music industry wheel. A wheel that is about making money off of selling people whatever crap they will buy, and/or creating formulaic music that won't make you think too hard. Maybe Bey wanted to write something more authentic and got shut down by the four men in the room, her record label or another more powerful male voice. Maybe these words truly empower her. Maybe she just wanted us to watch and discuss. We don't know. I'm just speculating and I'm not knocking her hustle.

It just sucks sometimes to feel like you're a "bad feminist" if enjoy clearly problematic and unsophisticated content. But to quote Arielle Loren: "Many women relate to rocking freakum dresses, graduating from prestigious universities, building powerhouse careers, and loving their families, all at the same time." Even if Bey's music is a bit misguided and often lacks nuance, there's something relatable (and danceable) that captivates large audiences, myself included.

We can sit around and have intellectual debates about this or do what oppressed peoples do. Flip the script. Take something that is created from patriarchal and capitalist intentions and make the messaging powerful for ourselves. There are important discussions happening now about women's and girls equality that are being sparked by this one catchy pop song. Use this as a teachable moment to talk with young girls about their self-esteem and how they interpret "running the world." As my friend Brandi reminded me on Facebook: "People's self-esteem have to be lifted in order to have the confidence to start a revolution." A place to start is with our girls and ourselves.

Update 5/23 at 5.07 p.m.: please talk to little boys and men too! equality requires all of us.

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Ashley Judd Thinks Hip-Hop Ain't No Fun

I've been having some conversations over the last few days about Ashley Judd and her misguided and misinformed views on Hip-Hop in her just-released memoir. At first, I dismissed it as another older white feminist movie star talking about things that she has no idea about. I respect what she has done to advocate for international maternal health, so I rolled my eyes and tried to look at it as an opportunity to talk about misogyny in commercial Hip-Hop music, and how that affects perceptions of it within larger society. But that was a surface and reactionary response, lacking deeper thought about the larger implications of her statement and what it shows about her prejudices. Here's what she said:

"YouthAIDS created hip, public service announcements for TV and radio using popular local and international celebrities and athletes and was participating in the MTV World AIDS Day 'Staying Alive' concerts," she wrote. "Along with other performers, YouthAIDS was supported by rap and hip-hop artists like Snoop Dogg and P. Diddy to spread the message ... um, who? Those names were a red flag. As far as I'm concerned, most rap and hip-hop music -- with its rape culture and insanely abusive lyrics and depictions of girls and women as 'ho's' -- is the contemporary soundtrack of misogyny."

During a conversation on Facebook with a feminist sisterfriend, we commented on how Ashley Judd is an outsider to the culture and knows nothing about Hip-Hop to make those statements. However, I also talked with my close friend, TastyKeish, and she was really upset and bothered by it. She opened my eyes to the severity of using "rape culture" to describe something so broad yet nuanced. I'm realizing that being caught up in academic feminist circles (of which I'm often on the periphery), I can have tunnelvision. Maybe I'm choosing gender over race...I'm not sure...I hate the idea that I even think about having to weigh the two. But I see I've become desensitized to these kinds of comments and if I am going to call myself a feminist, then I should be just as disgusted by gendered and ignorant comments about black men's sexuality and a culture that has raised me (even if it has its issues) as I am about how black women's sexuality is attacked through anti-choice billboards.

Aside from the fact that Ashley Judd has no clue about Hip-Hop as an art form and a culture, her comment shows an underlying prejudice towards black men. She says that Snoop and Diddy's participation in YouthAIDS raised a red flag for her. If she knew anything about Hip-Hop or maybe even had a conversation with either one of these men, she'd know that neither condone rape or create violent music (at least not in the last decade), both are intelligent and savvy media moguls, and both are fathers (each has a least one daughter). So why wouldn't they use their star power and influence to spread the message to young people, and especially the Hip-Hop community, about the importance of HIV/AIDS prevention? Shouldn't they be lauded? If their music is so sexually irresponsible, isn't it a good thing that they are talking about safe sex considering that HIV/AIDS transmission rates are so much higher among African-Americans?

What's particularly dangerous is the use of the phrase "rape culture" in this context. In the wake of the Cleveland, Texas rape case, we have seen how stereotypes of sexually aggressive black men spin out of control and dredge up historical beliefs of black men being rapists. This is the latest incarnation with Ashley Judd, a well-respected advocate for maternal health and women and girls, attacking Hip-Hop. Commercial Hip-Hop is misogynous. So is underground shit. Rock, metal, house, R&B, techno, etc. all have misogynous and violent content. But none is as popular, commercially viable, or controversial. There's a difference between talking about the music as being misogynous and honestly deconstructing what's behind that, and saying Hip-Hop as a whole promotes "rape culture." It shows a lack of understanding of the diversity of Hip-Hop and the commercial decisions that shape how it is sold and capitalized upon (and who makes those decisions).

I know that she is promoting a book and people think it's a publicity stunt. I don't know...maybe it is, generally speaking we as listeners and consumers of Hip-Hop (at least her definition of it) aren't her main audience. As a publicist and communications strategist, I think that's idiotic and shortsighted but I'm also not a big supporter of the idea that all publicity, even bad, is good publicity. If that's the case then mission accomplished...now people who didn't know or care about her memoir think she is a racist dumbass. Or some people think she is speaking out about negative imagery of women in Hip-Hop and pop culture. That depends on your point of view. What I do believe is that Ms. Judd wants to advance the discussion of attitudes that lead to sexual assault and rape since she experienced sexual abuse. Yet this is hardly a constructive way to do it.

I am no Hip-Hop expert. I grew up adoring Salt-N-Pepa, Queen Latifah, Monie Love and MC Lyte...along with Snoop. (I'm still a fan.) As a teenager, I was offended that Biggie called women "hos" but loved Lil' Kim for spitting raw lyrics about liking to fuck. I worked in the industry and saw the best and worst treatment of women, how stereotypes can be expressed by both genders, and how the money would dry up if women were not running things behind the scenes and showing their bodies on camera giving even the lamest emcee a hope that his video will be seen. There is a spectrum of attitudes and expressions in music that is not individual to Hip-Hop, that's what creates art.

I don't want to go in on Ms. Judd because I know I've said and written things that were ill-informed and irresponsible, things I wish I had thought more about before putting into a public space. Instead since she is passionate about maternal health, I'd like her to see how Hip-Hop is raising awareness of the issue in the African continent, where she has done a lot of humanitarian work. Two powerful women (songstress Maya Azucena and filmmaker Lisa Russell) created MDGFive.com, a movement uniting artists and activists for maternal health. They just returned from Tanzania and collaborated with local artists there for the song, "Mama Creator." This is Hip-Hop. It might not sound like what's on the radio or in videos but it expresses a positive and life-affirming aspect of the culture in a way that I think Ms. Judd can relate to.

Now she has come out after the backlash and said this, exclusively to Russell Simmons via Global Grind:

“...What I’m being accused of is condemning rap and hip-hop as a whole, and the whole community and when they say community, they mean the fans, and African-Americans, it’s become so generalized. My intention was to take a stand to say the elements that are misogynistic and treat girls and women in a hyper-sexualized way are inappropriate. The male dominance that is displayed, and the reinforcement of girls' and women value and identify as primarily sexual, is not helpful in any artistic expression, in any cultural form, whether its country music or in television story lines.”

The idea of misogyny in Hip-Hop is not new but this can certainly be another opportunity to talk about how women are represented in popular culture, not just Hip-Hop. Hip-Hop is an easy target but it's a lot more complicated than just saying it promotes rape culture without looking at the bigger picture. I identify as a feminist but I like "Ain't No Fun" and a whole slew of songs with shameful sexist lyrics. I know it's problematic and sometimes it's a mindfuck but I'm aware of Hip-Hop and all of its complexities. I want our community to be challenged by public condemnation of Hip-Hop and to think about what messages we are promoting globally and generationally. But I also think it's an unfortunate reminder that no matter how much success black men achieve the stereotypes about their sexuality continue to exist and persist. For feminism to move forward among all genders, we need to be cognizant of how this thinking keeps gender roles alive and inadvertently feeds a cycle of violence...one that has nothing to do with Hip-Hop.

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Cold nights, hot burlesque

I can't believe it's the end of the year again...where did 2010 go? It's been a roller coaster but I'm finishing up this year strong, bringing things full circle, maintaining projects that I started when this year began. I started out this year taking an amazing Goddess Burlesque workshop which I've talked a bit about here and it opened me up to a whole new world of expression and movement.

So here we are in December and I'm performing again with my Goddess Burlesque sistren this Friday. It's Howlin' Vic's (also known as Liza Minelli) last show for a long, long, long time (maybe ever...*sheds tears*) so we are doing it BIG! It's 2 shows back to back and I'll be performing in the 7:30 show. I'm really excited to be reunited with the beautiful and powerful goddesses who I started this journey with, and to see how we've all grown in this performance space. So when you get your butt out of work this Friday, head over to the Brooklyn Arts Exchange and come show us some love :)

Burlesque Ad Infinitum
Friday, December 10th: Two shows: 7:30PM and 9:30PM
BAX/Brooklyn Arts Exchange
421 Fifth Avenue (btn 7th & 8th Street), Park Slope Brooklyn
Tickets are $15 ahead of time, $20 at the door

7:30PM SHOW:
Auburn Hills, Bitty Bamboo, Brauntastic, Cora Caverns, Crystal Balls aka Lauren Hunter, Dom Juan, Jazabel Jade, Kstar, Plum Manchego, Poisoned Ivy, Sparkle Plenty, Tallulah Luv, and Tiny D.

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Oh No She Di'n't...!

I'm coming to understand that many people thumb their nose at burlesque and think it's just about some chicks stripping on a stage thinking they're fancy cuz they wear boas and corsets. Now boas and corsets are hella fun and sexy and there's nothing wrong with getting nekkid but there is a very specific theatrical aspect to the art form of burlesque that should be revered and respected.

The ladies of Brown Girls Burlesque are masters of this art, making political statements and telling relevant stories to the audience with sass, strength and satire. Last month's Culture Classics was a full-out production providing commentary on mail order brides, Christian imperialism, the myth of the "tragic mulatto," and Israeli occupation of Gaza. It challenged your brains and your loins ;) Mindblowing, huh?

Well, now the ladies are cooling it down with "Oh No She Di'n't..." (part of the Coney Island Burlesque at the Beach series) which shows women coming out of their comfort zones, acting a fool and being controversial. The show will cover religion, abortion, international violence while uncovering some beautiful and powerful goddesses. I am the "Stage Mommy" of the show and I'm totally amped to be working with these dynamic sisters again. The legendary Miss Astrid is hosting so it should get pretty raucous. If you missed Culture Classics, here's your second chance to see how brown girls get down...

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how are you imagining yourself?

continued thanks to the sister goddess circle (who shared this) for providing the solace the spirit and the soul. this poem below is from poet marcia jones's myspace page under "my manifesto!" feels perfect for the solstice...

-Patricia Lynn Reilly
(Found in a book called "imagine a woman in love with herself", at a used bookstore in Berkeley)

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good that she is woman. A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories. Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who has acknowledged the past's influence on the present. A woman who has walked through her past. Who has healed into the present.

Imagine a woman in love with her own body. A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is. Who celebrates her body's rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who embraces her sexuality as her own. A woman who delights in pleasuring herself. Who experiences her erotic sensations without shame or guilt.

Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body. A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom. Who refuses to use her precious life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who has access to the full range of human emotion. A woman who expresses her feelings clearly and directly. Who allows them to pass through her as gracefully as a breath.

Imagine a woman who tells the truth. A woman who trusts her experience of the world and expresses it. Who refuses to defer to the thoughts, perceptions, and responses of others.

Imagine a woman who follows her creative impulses. A woman who produces original creations. Who refuses to color inside someone else's lines.

Imagine a woman who names her own gods. A woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness. Who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life.

Imagine a woman who refuses to surrender to gods, gurus, and higher powers. A woman who has descended into her own inner life. Who asserts her will in harmony with its impulses and instincts.

Imagine a woman who is interested in her own life. A woman who embraces her life as a teacher, healer, and challenge. Who is graceful for the ordinary moments of beauty and grace.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life. A woman who trusts her inner sense of what is right for her. Who refuses to twist her life out of shape to meet the expectations of others.

Imagine a woman who participates in her own life. A woman who meets each challenge with creativity. Who takes action on her own behalf with clarity and strength.

Imagine a woman who has crafted a fully formed solitude. A woman who is available to herself. Who chooses friends and lovers with the capacity to respect her solitude.

Imagine a woman who refuses to diminish her life so others will feel better. A woman who brings the fullness of her years, experience, and wisdom into each relationship. Who expects others to be challenged and blessed by her presence in their lives.

Imagine a woman who assumes equality in her relationships. A woman who no longer believes she is inferior to men and in need of their salvation. Who has taken her rightful place beside them in the human community.

Imagine a woman who refuses to use her precious life-energy managing crisis and conflict. A woman whose relationships deepen in satisfaction and contentment without depleting her. Who chooses friends and lovers with the necessary skills to navigate through the challenges of life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life. A woman who sits in circles of women. Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine a woman who has relinquished the desire for intellectual safety and approval. A woman who makes a powerful statement with every word she speaks, every action she takes. Who asserts to herself the right to reorder the world.

Imagine a woman who has grown in knowledge and love of herself. A woman who has vowed faithfulness to her own life and capacities. Who remains loyal to herself. Regardless.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

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The Double Goddess

On behalf of Goddesses Rising contributor, QueenMakedaB:

What Is the Double Goddess?
V. Noble

The Double Goddess is an ancient icon with luminous meaning for contemporary women, expanding on the single images that have prevailed in prior considerations of the Goddess. Among the numerous female figures important in the ancient world appear many twin figures of two women as well as symbolic dual female representations such as the Double Axe, birds, lions, leopards, and snakes. I see these Double Goddess figures as profoundly representational of the whole yin-yang female biological cycle and its shamanistic relationship to life on this planet, human evolution, and the development of civilization.

The long and rich heritage of Double Goddess figurines and painted images reflect the organic cycles of nature that informed the ancient Goddess religion, archetypally expressed through the body of every woman as the repeating alternation between ovulation and menstruation. These two aspects of the feminine are iconographically depicted in the multivalent and widespread image of two divine women, expressing the dual ples of nature: death and life, dark and light.

The image of the Double Goddess is a vital missing piece for modern women, as it graphically portrays our exquisite and unique bipolar existence in a positive, healthy way.

The Double Goddess reflects female autonomy, offering very important icons for modern women trying to find again (re-member) our ancient, integral sense of self and wholeness.

The innate back-and-forth mystery of ovulation and menstruation, unique to our species and magically ( magnetically) synchronized with the cycles of the Great Goddess Herself in Her dual planetary aspects as Earth and Moon, and the mythic forces of life and death.

The Double Goddess represents the idea of female sovereignty in a context of ancient female yogic and shamanistic practices and principles that formed the organizing structure of most ancient cultures in the world before patriarchy. These double images as well as the aried mythologies of Double Queens found in different parts of the ancient world suggest that the icons represent a female lineage (matrilinearity) in the form of a continuous "storied tradition" of female sovereignty.

We'll probably never know if any of the Double Goddess images from ancient civilizations were meant by their creators to represent physical love between women. Or, more accurately, we may not ever be able to prove that such a likely contention is true. Certainly some Double Goddesses are portrayed in such intimate ways that contemporary scholars discussing them have become tongue tied or shy about what they are seeing. Some double figures show two separate women in significant intimate contact, embracing or wearing a shawl around their shoulders or a girdle around their hips, which may indicate physical same sex love.

Lesbians who have shied away from the Goddess movement because of its largely unconscious, but profoundly heterosexist bias, can relax into the knowledge that a lineage exists, going back to the beginnings of human civilization, sanctioning female to female relationship as the original, matriarchal bond and a model of community leadership. This model has mostly been ignored by mainstream culture, even though it is a truism at this point in history that lesbians were and are the vanguard of the women's movement. Significantly for our discussion, much of this impact was made through the influence and productivity of lesbians couples, in a contemporary version of our ancient Amazon Queens.

This model can be seen in the tantric counterparts, Athena and Artemis. Athena, credited with inventing all of civilization's arts, became Goddess of the city-state, crafts, and culture, and Artemis remained Goddess of wild nature. Both remained "virgin" neither was willing to relate romantically with men and both were connected with Amazons.

Rarely does a scholar mention the all to obvious likelihood that either or both of these Goddess types might have found their sexual fulfillment with other women. Artemis, the shaman-priestess, might naturally discover her romantic partner in Athena, the physical warrior and head of state. Instead, both are treated not as if their Virgin Goddess status referred to the intactness of a woman belonging to herself, but rather as a kind of insular chastity that repudiated sexuality altogether.

With the mass of recorded history, mythology, and artifactual evidence, the existence of Amazon Queens and warrior women can hardly be contested, yet it is consistently denied, ignored, and erased by contemporary academic scholars. Amazon warrior women exemplify female resistance movements everywhere. They evoke the wild women who, like Miranda Shaw's eternally transgressive Indian yoginis, "always speak truthfully and are proud of their strength; women whose minds are powerful and energetic; women who delight in shrewish behavior and speak boastfully; women who are fearless, revel in their own ferocity, and women who derive pleasure from the fact that they are untamable."

The warrior woman stands her ground in the physical world, like an archer or martial artist. The priestess fights her battle on the invisible plane, using the tools of her trade to support the powerful working of her focused mind. Together, in the tradition of Amazons from every time and place, they fight back in an ongoing refusal to allow the world to be destroyed.

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A-Rodonna Mania

I’m usually not a big tabloid gossip person but I’m obsessed with the A-Rod/Madonna alleged romance and his divorce from his wife, Cynthia. The Daily News has had them on the cover for the past week and I’ve read every word of their coverage. I was feeling really shallow for being so interested but 2 personally intriguing icons are hooking up…in my world, this is bigger than Jay and Beyonce, and Brangelina; even though A-Rodonna (as MSNBC coined it) is being steadfastly denied.

I’m a serious Yankee fan, though this year I haven’t been paying as much attention. The games have been painful to watch with all the injuries and players nowhere near their full potential. Nonetheless, I have been following the team seriously since right after high school and have kept A-Rod under my watchful eye since he came to the Yankees. Was he bad ju-ju for the team? What did this mean for Captain Derek (Jeter), my beloved shortstop? Or could he solidify the Yankee Dynasty for the next decade? All that aside, he rubbed me the wrong way when he was talking sh*t about Derek his boy who he came up with in the game. Anyway, being a Yankee and dealing with the New York frenzy has proved to be difficult for A-Rod. He’s had emotional meltdowns, hitting slumps, and various scandals involving strippers and other chicks. He also still doesn’t have the coveted World Series ring (Derek has 4) but he’s put up impressive numbers year after year; and is on track to smash home run records by the end of his career. So especially in NYC, where the media monitors his every move, A-Rod continues to confirm his status as an enigma underneath a calculated veneer.

Now let’s add Madonna to the equation. I don’t even have to go through a history of Madonna but she was my idol from about age 4 until 12ish. I had white fishnet gloves, and I begged my mom to get me a crinoline slip so I could be her for Halloween. I was 7 so the crinoline slip was a crinoline dress. But I’ve followed Madonna since then and have always admired her ability to reinvent herself; and thus she’s made successfully reinventing herself her calling card. It’s genius. She was a sexual pioneer, pushing the envelope for women to express their sexuality freely, meanwhile receiving intense media criticism and scrutiny; the Vatican even got involved (poor repressed Catholics). I went to see Madonna’s “Truth or Dare” for my 11th birthday with my girlfriends; she was it to me as a youngster.

When her “Sex” book and “Erotica” album were released, I was a tween and was finally convinced that Madonna was a slut. It was the proverbial last straw for me based on literally Fox 5’s news coverage (pre Fox News Channel days). I was at an influential age where I was picking up a lot of context clues about how women should be and our roles in society. The media pegged her as a whore and I didn’t really have the maturity to understand suppression of female sexuality, and I got the message. Being sexual=slut=bad thing. Nonetheless, I still thought she was cool and in command of her life, pushing boundaries and making things uncomfortable.

This “slut” label continues to plague her now as these accusations of her affair with A-Rod. I’m torn on this one, I kinda hope they were fucking because that would be some ill sexual energy that I would want to witness! Though she is looking a little frail these days. At the same time, I think A-Rod is wrong for consistently and flagrantly cheating on his wife for the whole world to see. Unless they have an arrangement and understanding that they can have other lovers, then it’s wrong to make Cynthia look foolish in the public eye like that. If you are gonna have indiscretions, be discreet, son! I can’t blame him for wanting to be with Madonna; nor can I blame Madonna’s 49 year old ass for getting with A-Rod’s young, strong, beefy body. Okay, lemme calm down. But damn, Alex, have a tiny bit of class and respect. We all know that you’re not remotely faithful to your wife, but fool us a little.

Back in late May/June of 2007, A-Rod had another scandal with a blonde stripper that he was seen with in Toronto, Boston, Las Vegas and other spots. It was reported that he was “the king of the strip clubs,” took strippers shopping, and was sending the ones in different cities X-rated text messages. Damn, dude is unleashing some energy and marriage is obviously not for him at this point. Now that I think about it, he’s coming out of his Saturn Return which brings about great changes in people. Anyway, the lesson to A-Rod here is to stop taking your hos out in the streets!



Lastly, when I heard that Cynthia was chillin’ with Lenny Kravitz; I was hype! I know the report is that Lenny is a family friend that is offering his home as a refuge from the press but I hope that Cynthia is getting with him (you better be). F*ck that, I’m keeping it real! He is a fine “friend” to have! She needs to get something out of all this public humiliation, and having his kids. It’s more than coincidental that she got pregnant right after the stripper scandal too. I’m just sayin’…

Now really lastly, A-Rod’s trainer has accused Madonna of brainwashing him with her kaballah practices. That takes this over the top and it’s clear that dude is just trying to get some shine. He has also said that A-Rod has been listening to a lot of Madonna before the games. What a funny visual? A-Rod getting his jock jam on to “Papa Don’t Preach.” But it also shows the ignorance of our culture to religions other than Christianity. Apparently, Madge is showing him the ways of kaballah and it’s changed his behavior. Maybe he is different. He allegedly wrote Madonna a note saying that she was his “true soulmate.” Ouch! But I have a hard time believing that Madonna is casting evils spell on him to make him cheat on his wife. I’m not saying she’s not magical but I believe she uses her powers for good :) And note Madonna’s marriage (though already rocky) has barely stumbled with this A-Rod debaucle.

This divorce is gonna get ugly. Madonna's name isn't even in the court documents so I'm sure there's some real dirt to be unearthed. She ain't going out as an official homewrecker. Damn, damn, damn. Cynthia is gonna go for the jugular.

So what’s the point here? This sh*t is intriguing to me because I generally do a lot of serious work and serious reading so it’s a pleasant repreive to be distracted by other people’s drama, particularly those that I’ve grown up with like A-Rod, or have influenced my growth like Madonna. It might be a publicity stunt but I am willingly suckered in. Too bad, it doesn’t make me wanna go buy the album, though I might cause it's Madonna off the strength and I really like "Confessions." Instead, it makes me self-reflect, and think about my ideal marriage situation and what is acceptable to me. I don’t ever want to get divorced so I’m figuring out how I can have what I want, and what it is I truly want, without completely compromising myself. Madonna, Cynthia, and A-Rod, I’m watching.

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